She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
