There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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