Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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