Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
