you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
