I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
