I want to make a zoo with you.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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