haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
