Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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