That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
