I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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