Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
