Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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