so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
