I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
