4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
