the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i dont even know how to be here
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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