what day is it and did you see me today?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
