I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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