I look better un-naked...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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