I'm gonna have a badass scar
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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