shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
