a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
