I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize