Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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