Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
