Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
