At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
