i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
