Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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