Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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