I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
