So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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