I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
