it was like his penis was on wheels.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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