If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There's always time for handjobs
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
