"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
