If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
two words...techno handjob
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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