So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
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