:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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