dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Dick very happy bro
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
