ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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