see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
