I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he wants to bone in the snuggie
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you have to choose: penises or morals?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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