I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
