I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm sobbing to NWA
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
