final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
