So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
