You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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