whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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