Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
