I saw his package. It spoke to me.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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