If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
