Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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