Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm like, not good at living.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
