She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
