): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
