can we get nightvision for the apartment?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
