She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
