apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
