question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Send help, water and tortillas.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
