She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
