You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
