I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
