I would go down on you faster than GM stock
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
