I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
