im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
This baby is an asshole
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
NoShamevember. You game?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
