Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i out mim tonsoeep
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
