I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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